Everything feels so bleak, nothing in the present is truly exciting. I feel like I've failed on everything my past self and a bit of my present still wants. Writing this wont change anything, neither would thinking about why I failed. The mind thinks up of a billion reasons to blame our failures upon but when it sleeps, it knows that the only reason it failed was because of itself. That is a tough reality to come to terms with but the reality nonetheless. That is what I'm trying to do. Accountability. I want to forget. Want to move on, no matter how hard I try this baggage will always drag me down regardless of how much I might try to repress it and forget about it. This is my way of talking to myself in a way that would bring me comfort, there is no one else except myself that would get what I'm going through and/or help me with it. Sometimes I fail to understand what is the point of it all, when everyone regardless of their place in society would be reduced to dust anyway